Eleanor (ellipunk) wrote,

Lesson One...

If you are hungry at night, let's say about 10.30, then it is a good idea to have some cornflakes or toast or some other snack type thing. It is not a good idea to order in pizza so late. Wondering why? Read Lesson Two.

Lesson Two.
If you have ignored Lesson One and are still going to order in pizza, then at least order in a normal sized one. Don't go for the family sized option just because they have special offers on family sized pizzas on Saturdays. Why? Read on...

Lesson Three.
Ok. You have decided to order in pizza late in the evening/early night. And you have chosen the family size. Even though two people does not really constitute a family.
Right. Lesson Three - what toppings to choose. Don't go for pepperoni, or other salty/spicy toppings. Keep it mild. At best just cheese.

Lesson Four.
You have flouted all lessons so far and have ordered a family sized pizza at half ten at night, with peperoni, onion and tuna. Ok. When the pizza finally comes - after 11pm - make sure you drink lots of water either with the pizza or afterwards. Lemonade, while tasting nice with pizza, does not really quench your thirst and you tend not to drink it in large quantities. And finally Lesson Five..

Lesson Five.
It's ok to have leftovers. Pizza actually tastes nice the next day. It even tastes nice cold. DO NOT be greedy. DO NOT think "ah well only two slices left.. might as well finish it off..." Avoiding eye contact with the last remaining slices, close the box and back away slowly.. go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.

Lesson Six.
If you have stuffed yourself stupid with a family sized peperoni pizza and it is now going on midnight, try to stay active and moving for a half an hour at least. Do some housework, go out for a walk around the block. DO NOT lie down to chat to your sister online. DO NOT flip over onto your back, paralytic because your belly is so full and most definitely DO NOT fall asleep in that position, only to be woken around an hour later by your DH or whoever, telling you to get up and go to bed.

I woke up at 6am with the most incredible thirst. I downed some water and went back to bed. Woke up again around 9 still thirsty. Drank more water. Couldn't really move because belly was still full. Thoughts of breakfast made me sick. It was about 6 hours before I ate anything.
Write these lessons down!! Stick to them! Otherwise your Sunday mornings will be ruined!
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.